His Broken Soul

Title: His Broken Soul
Genre: Angst
Pairing: Yoosu
Recommended song: Don’t cry my lover
Summary: I felt the pain numbing my heart, till I could feel nothing anymore, not even the hot searing tears that were dripping down my face.

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[He loves me, he loves me not...]

The church’s door slammed opened and you saw him turning around, the smile on his face completely wiped off. The wedding band froze in his hand and you forced yourself to look him in the eyes.

Silence.

One step, two step.

The resounding echoes was painful to listen, each sound made was like needles, pricking your heart, filling it with pain, but the next, the pain was gone and all that was left was emptiness. Park Yoochun was a fool, you are a fool to fall in love with this man, this supposed angel. “Why?” you mumbled as you neared him, the woman standing by him was beautiful, but that cruel smirk on her face told you everything, the things you need to know, his betrayal, your dead heart.

As your hand stretched to reach him, so close to touch him, you felt your own world spinning like an out of control merry-go-round, every dreams you had turned into nightmares and your sight was blinded by darkness, when would you wake up? You really didn’t know…

[I want to turn away, but you kept me hanging.]

They knocked on your bedroom door, you ignored them.

They barged into your enclosed world, but it’s alright.

They stared into the windows of your broken soul, never mind, they won’t see a thing.

Or maybe yes, perhaps the tears falling down your red weary eyes, perhaps the occasional sobs you released, perhaps the silent cries for him. But like a shattered mirror, as much as they tried to paste you back, those scars, those hurts, they would be there forever, they would be there for the world to see. Park Yoochun is dead, you are dead, but they just didn’t know. The door closed silently and you no longer hear their voices, good, it’s better to leave you alone. “Yoochun.” A soft feathery whisper, it was unbelievable that you could still be broken, with shaky hands, you reached up to cover your ears, his voice hurt you, his face blinds you, you want to hide, to never come out, but he just wouldn’t leave.

“Yoochun.” He grabbed your hands in his, preventing it to travel up again. Fine, let him have his way then, you wouldn’t give a damn anyway. “I’m sorry.” His apologies had you crying in his arms, the tears never stopping, it hurts, you really want to tell him, but Park Yoochun was strong, this wasn’t you, this wasn’t supposed to happen. “I’m sorry.” There was nothing more you could say.

[A red drop of hope, can I trust you again?]

They found you in there, wet, lifeless and bleeding, there was nothing they could do but to call for the ambulance, all the king’s horses and all the king’s men couldn’t put you back again, but you just need him, you just need him to be there, even if it hurts you more than anything.

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A tear slid down your face, leaving a path of lingering heat, you suppressed those overwhelming sobs as you listened to him cry, he said he loves you, but can you trust him? He said that he had to marry the girl because of his dying father, cliché as it sounded, you want to believe. Then he grabbed your wrapped up hand and planted a kiss, said that such things wouldn’t happen again, the tears you tried so hard to hold back broke free, and just like that, you were back in his arms, sobbing like the broken man you already were.

—-

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Lies, you should have known better to believe him. The promises he made, they were like the rusty blade you were holding, stabbing into your heart, sliding across your wrist.

He should be here soon, they should be here soon, but it’s alright, this would be the last he would see of you. Now that pesky Yoochun was gone, Kim Junsu could live his happily ever after without any hindrance. You smiled brokenly, and with the last bit of your heart, you downed the bottle of pill as if it was wine, then, you waited.

The door was knocked down as you felt your heavy eyelids closing, you captured a glimpse of the man you spent your entire life loving and you knew that despite the pain, there wasn’t any regrets. He held your hand once again, he planted a kiss on the very same spot, but this time, you wouldn’t live for him already, the reason to live has already faded.

[Baby I'm sorry, in loving memories.]

He touched the ring hanging around his neck as his fingers felt the freshly inscribed words on the tomb.

Kim Junsu was a murderer, he had single handedly killed the only man he had ever loved, he had drove him to the point of no return.

He could still remember his cold hand leaving his warm hold.

He could still remember the empty bottle of sleeping pills.

He could still remember his angelic face even at the brink of death.

The tears adorning his eyes. Park Yoochun had suffered so much for him, and yet, he couldn’t do anything.

“I really love you.” His last words resounded in his mind, even when he was dying, the need to let him know, it was still his top priority.

“Don’t worry my love.” He whispered, pressing a kiss on the cold slab of marble, “I’m coming right after you.”

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Comments are appreciated!!! ^^

~ by dreamlity on April 1, 2009.